Today we have all kinds of parents: Single Parent, Co-Parents with or without Step Parents, Same-Sex Parents, Living together Parents, Military Parents, Married Parents, Adoptive Parents, Foster Parents, Grandparents raising their grandkids, etc. Almost every parent begins fretting over "How to raise their brand new bundle of joy" the second they realize they are about to be parents. Some swear up and down that they will not under any circumstances be like their parents were, and other hope and pray to raise their child just like their parents did. Each parent wants that wonderful child to grow up, and be an individual. They also however want the child(ren) to be better at specific things than they themselves were. It's funny though how we push them to do things that we want them to do (ie. sports, band, hunting,...etc) without always considering whether or not the child wants to do it. Children will often want to do these things because they want their parents to be proud of them, but don't always have a love for it the way mom or dad does. We also have the parents who fight over what they feel is best for the child(ren), or different views of how this child should be raised. The questions always remain in the end: Did we do our best in raising him/her? Is he/she ready for the real world? What if.....
As I begin my journey of teaching my 15 year old how to drive I find myself wondering now these questions. The fact of the matter is we only have from the time they are born until Junior High to teach them all the ethics, and things that we pray will get them through. Once they begin those teenage years they begin their own journey. We can state our point of view, and attempt to guide them for the rest of our lives. We can still punish them when they have done wrong, and do all the interfering in their lives that parents are best at doing. The fact still remains that by this point they are beginning to decide who they are, and pulling away from their parents as much as possible. They begin their own journey into adulthood, and you as the parent begin playing a very small role in their lives. Instead of waiting until that day when they go off to college, or career and move out we ask ourselves earlier the difficult questions. We never will get the complete answers to the questions, but we do every now and then get a clue or two. When others tell us how wonderful our children are, or when the child(ren) do something that makes you want to sit back and just smile. It has taken a village to raise my son, and the people in that village were not always the ones I would of preferred. I know by the choices he now makes, and the path he takes in making those decisions that I have at least guided him in the right direction for me. The question is did I guide him in the right direction for him.
As parents we often forget that our children are not mini me's, but individuals whose lives we effect and shape for only a short time. We can spend that time trying to convince them to live the life we lead or wished we had, or we can show them how life is lead as an adult. It goes to say "do as I say not as I do" just won't work, because we don't have enough time to teach them adulthood without showing them.
As I begin my journey of teaching my 15 year old how to drive I find myself wondering now these questions. The fact of the matter is we only have from the time they are born until Junior High to teach them all the ethics, and things that we pray will get them through. Once they begin those teenage years they begin their own journey. We can state our point of view, and attempt to guide them for the rest of our lives. We can still punish them when they have done wrong, and do all the interfering in their lives that parents are best at doing. The fact still remains that by this point they are beginning to decide who they are, and pulling away from their parents as much as possible. They begin their own journey into adulthood, and you as the parent begin playing a very small role in their lives. Instead of waiting until that day when they go off to college, or career and move out we ask ourselves earlier the difficult questions. We never will get the complete answers to the questions, but we do every now and then get a clue or two. When others tell us how wonderful our children are, or when the child(ren) do something that makes you want to sit back and just smile. It has taken a village to raise my son, and the people in that village were not always the ones I would of preferred. I know by the choices he now makes, and the path he takes in making those decisions that I have at least guided him in the right direction for me. The question is did I guide him in the right direction for him.
As parents we often forget that our children are not mini me's, but individuals whose lives we effect and shape for only a short time. We can spend that time trying to convince them to live the life we lead or wished we had, or we can show them how life is lead as an adult. It goes to say "do as I say not as I do" just won't work, because we don't have enough time to teach them adulthood without showing them.